when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
