he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
