id be glad to
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
