I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
