Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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