Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
