Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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