Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
