i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
