YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
