This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
