so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
