So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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