i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
