playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
