textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
