you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
