i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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