so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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