Nicole vs. Life
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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