the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
