You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize