So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
