R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
