We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
