I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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