Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
