I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My ass is underappreciated
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
