Will you blow on my dice?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
