Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
