We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
