You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize