i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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