She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
