Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
