he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
