love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
