Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize