I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
