Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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