thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
