Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
