office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
