I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize