the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
