You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
