The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize