not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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