Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
