Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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