jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
