Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
