There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We need to get me chipped asap
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
