Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
