I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
