Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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