I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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