its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
