i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize