Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
