Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
