Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
